Watch out all ye aristocrats
For I be the biggest of all the cats
I have my stripes
And I have my roar
And I’m beautiful
So you must all adore!

Every four years, in the Cat Olympics
There is one favorite that you all have to pick
For the cheetahs are fast
And the lions have roars
But what we tigers offer is oh so much more!

Of all the cats
We are the biggest, the strongest
And in every event
We seize the moment!
For when a tiger’s eyes
Are set on a prize
No other cat has a chance
No matter the tries!

For we are the cool cats
In the jungles we rule
We wear our stripes like your shades
Lazy by pools
But in the midst of a battle
We never do prattle
For there’s no animal fiercer
Than a clever tiger

So whether the event
Is the “greatest cat roar”
The “beauty pageant”
Or “the chasing of boar”
You will know
When other cats faint to the floor
At our wondrous beauty
Or hunting furor
That there is only one cat
Who is going to win
And that be the tiger
With black stripes and ripe grin!

So in the Cat Olympics
Who is your pick?
Which cat is the strongest?
The biggest, the best?
For it should be clear
That the only true winner
Of “best swimmer” and “pinner”,
“at catching their dinner”
Is we tigers
With our mighty “grrs”
So don’t be thick
Just pick the tiger!

This story is old
So do not be bold
Just do what you’re told
And pick the tiger
For if you watch the Cat Olympics,
What you are sure to behold
Are the champion cool cats
Tigers always win gold!

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